I’ve been meaning to write about Zoloft, but I haven’t yet had a chance.
Today Henry is extra needy. Those pesky two bottom teeth are oh-so-close to breaking through. He really wants to snuggle, nurse, and nap glued to me…but only in bed, not in our Tula carrier or on the couch. He’s particular, this boy.
So I have an extra moment while laying in bed snuggling him, while watching the snow fall outside in my big gorgeous field. I’m choosing to ignore the piles of laundry and the dishes piling up in the sink at the moment.
Anyway, remember when I mentioned a few months ago that I was thinking about trying medication for anxiety?
Well I finally bit the bullet and tried Zoloft.
I started out at 25mg for two weeks, then bumped it up to 50mg. That was a little more than two months ago.
I have to say: I am SO GLAD I tried it. Zoloft has literally changed my life.
I’ve gone from feeling like I live in a dark, overwhelming place to somewhere bright and perfectly manageable.
I was terrified of the side effects I read about online. I did have some side effects, but nothing life altering. Mainly I felt light headed. Kind of like when you have a sinus headache and your head feels like it’s floating off somewhere else. Know what feeling I mean? That was very annoying. It lasted for maybe a week then slowly disappeared over the next week or two.
There was minor nausea, nothing terrible. A few random waves of ugh here and there.
I think it may have caused an increase in bowel activity though, that was annoying. I’m still thinking it makes me gassy even now. I’m not terribly pleased about that, but if that’s the only con I’ll just live with it.
Henry is exclusively breastfeeding and I have noticed no side effects in him at all. Nothing changed with his behavior or sleep patterns.
All that being said, the pros of Zoloft (for me at least) are wonderful. A few weeks after starting it I woke up one morning and it was quiet in my head.
My entire life I’ve had a constant stream of voices. Rapid thoughts, I suppose would be a better term for it. Anxious thoughts that won’t stop, going a hundred miles an hour. Negative thoughts too, angry over emotional negativity. I found it hard to get up and get things done because I was bogged down by racing thoughts and panic that felt endless. I had to go over the same worries repeatedly in my head.
That’s gone now. GONE, GONE, GONE!
It feels amazing. I wish I had tried Zoloft years ago. I wasted so much of my life with this horrible anxiety ruling everything and I didn’t even realize it. I’m so relieved now. I am free!
I do still have a little anxiety left, but usually I can manage it without that panic feeling welling up inside of me. It’s almost more like the memory of anxiety than actual anxiety. I don’t know how to explain it. I remember that I would panic in this situation, it’s still there in the back in my head, but it’s behind a wall of defense and I can wave it away.
It’s like living in a whole new wonderful world full of possibilities. I am also a better parent. I’m able to be more patient, to think rationally about situations when otherwise I would storm around in frustration. I feel better about my marriage. I’m able to step back and problem solve without being enraged or depressed.
(I don’t have time to go back and proof read most of my entries, so take my train of thought interrupted by children for what you will.)
I know when I posted about being scared to take Zoloft I got quite a few comments from others with anxiety who were also afraid to take medication. It seems that Zoloft works well for some and not as great for others, but I encourage you all to try it. It’s totally worth powering through the side effects while you get adjusted to it. I just never would have dreamed what a life changing difference it could make!