This is no good.
I’m not doing so well over here.
We didn’t get everything boxed up and in storage this weekend like we’d hoped. It just took too long. We worked on Friday night, all day Saturday, and all day Sunday. It’s close to being done. I wish Tyler had a vacation day he could take so we could finish it today.
Moving into my grandma’s house is going as horribly as I expected. She has clutter everywhere and she can’t seem to get it moved or cleaned up. She hasn’t lived there or spent the night there in years, maybe five years? There are stacks of papers and random stuff all over the place, hoarders style. We set some of our furniture in there that she approved, but we can’t arrange anything. The couches are standing up on end because there isn’t enough space to lay them down and sit on them.
Basically we have a few pieces of clothing here at my parents’ house, and that’s about it. The rest of our things are in boxes and lost in the storage unit we rented. The kids never even got time to play with their toys from Christmas because we’ve been up here away from the cold cabin. Now they’re in boxes not easily accessible.
This is sort of a nightmare.
Tyler and I aren’t getting along. I did not want to move into my grandma’s old house, I knew it would be like this because she is a borderline hoarder. He insisted we should do it. He said I wanted to live at the cabin and that didn’t work out, and now he was insisting we do this and I have no say. Well it sucks. More for me than it does for him, since I am home (somewhere) all the time with the children trying to raise them while he is mostly at work or sleeping.
I feel like I’m not a real adult because I have no home for my children, none of our things, no normal routine, it’s just all wrong. I don’t know what to do with myself.
Living with my parents is not easy. Mainly my dad.
This morning it had snowed a lot with ice and everything was closed, including the local university where my dad works, so he was home. Tyler was insisting that I cancel Henry’s six month (!!) well baby check so that I could go down to the cabin an hour away and let the dogs out.
He keeps claiming I do nothing and he has to do everything, like yesterday when I got stuck at my parents house taking care of the kids for the afternoon (with my frequently nursing baby) while he and my parents finished packing and moving in the cold cabin with no running water, where the kids can’t really be underfoot. He was angry that I wasn’t able to be there helping, despite the fact that I packed tons of things on Friday and Saturday while wearing all 20 pounds of Henry.
This morning he told me I never do anything to help, so I could take all three kids on the horrible snowy roads down to the cabin and let the dogs out since I have all day and nothing to do and he has to be at work at 5:15 tonight. Friends who live near the cabin were telling me that they couldn’t get out of their driveways due to the ice/snow/ice sandwich. I kept trying to explain to Tyler that I was nervous about driving down there alone with the kids since it’s on tiny curvy roads. He didn’t want the kids to stay here with him, and he didn’t want to go with me, and he didn’t want to go alone. I was worried we would get stuck in the snow on a hill, or drive off a cliff, and there is no cell phone reception in a lot of areas out there. I would have to walk with the kids in the snow to find the nearest house with someone home.
I got the kids dressed and ready to go, but my dad was downstairs and asked what we were doing. When he found out that the kids and I were going out alone he got really upset and interfered. Then there was a fight and Tyler stormed off to let the dogs out himself and let me know once again I got to stay home and do nothing.
He hasn’t bothered to call me or let me know he got there safely. I guess he’s fine. It’s been almost four hours since he left.
It makes me feel so loved to know how much he cares about the safety of his wife and kids. /sarcasm
I don’t know why he has to be like that. I get so jealous of friends who have spouses that treasure them.
Yeah, I could take the kids down there by myself. Maybe we would be fine. Probably. Or I would end up stuck in a snow bank with two children and a fat baby and no cell phone reception, and everyone would be crying while we went on a death march uphill in the snow to some stranger’s house to use their phone. I’m sure it would be fine in the end.
Rosie is so upset about moving suddenly. She was hysterical yesterday. I feel so bad for her. She is blaming it on me. She ripped up a pretty card she made for me, screamed in a room at my parents’ house with the door locked. Kicked me with both feet in my stomach when I tried to comfort her, and bit herself on the arm.
I’d promised the girls they could take a couple of their pet bantam chickens to live with the bunnies in my grandma’s backyard. The bantams are so tiny no one will even know they are there. My grandma has an 8 foot privacy fence. The girls’ very favorite chicken Cherry went missing when I wasn’t able to get back to the cabin to lock the coop door one night. We haven’t seen her in three days. I’m assuming she was eaten by something. Both girls have been crying over that on and off. Why Cherry, of all the chickens?? Figures.
Everything here is wrong. I feel dead inside. I’m spending all of my time trying not to cry. I’ve had a pounding headache for five days now. I keep getting this feeling like an ice pick is stabbing into my temple. It makes me see white sparkles in my eye. It’s a crippling pain. I may be actually having a brain explosion from stress.
I’ve had to give up my photography business, my fiddle playing, and my friends because I have no down time ever to pursue hobbies, and now I also have to give up my chickens. I really don’t have much left, and all my husband does is get angry because I stay home and he has to do everything.
Newsflash: Taking care of kids 100% by yourself is a lot of work, and homeschooling, and every single one of the chores I do all by myself…
In the mean time my landlords could absolutely care less about us or the cabin they own. They have not been down to see about the busted pipes or made any arrangements to clean up the water. The bathroom has about two inches of ice in a five foot puddle that alternates melting and refreezing. It melts and disappears into the floor, then freezes and reappears somehow. The new toilet has poured water out of it, I think it cracked. The water has run under the wall and under the kitchen cabinets on the other side of the wall. The base of the cabinets is ruined, so is the drywall. I guess they just aren’t going to fix it? As soon as it stays above freezing for any length of time all of that is going to mold.
The health department told them they needed to come down here and address the problems then report back first thing this week. We were there all weekend, they never did show up or contact us. So…? Either they are going to lie to the health department about it, or what will they do?
I feel so angry with them.
My kids are as well as can be considered, but everything else in my life is just falling apart.