Why can it never be simple and easy? Where is the happy ending?
Igor is already back at the orphanage. His mother and older brother dropped him back off today.
Two days. They kept him for two whole days and then returned him to the orphanage without his suitcase full of food and winter clothing. Only with his backpack. I don’t know what was in the backpack.
I hope it was his new backpack. We also sent back his old ratty backpack because we’re supposed to return everything they bring since it’s orphanage property.
His roommate said he told his mom he wanted us to adopt him, but she said no. He’s heartbroken.
I feel sick.
He spent his whole summer with us dreaming about his mom and listening to her make promises on the phone.
I don’t know what to do now.
I mean it’s just not that easy to say goodbye forever.
It would be so hard. Everything about hosting and adopting him would be HARD. And full of sacrifices.
He needs us though.
I hate this. All of it.
I do think if he were able to have help getting his mom’s rights terminated then we were able to adopt him he would be a lot different knowing everything was final. No more anxiety about returning, no more false promises to his mother, etc. He could go to therapy, have medication if he needs it, go to school, make his own friends, and other normal and much needed things that we can’t do during hosting.
But…even getting to that point would be nearly impossible. It would be a miracle if his mother’s rights were terminated.
It was easier to think he didn’t want to be hosted this winter, that he wanted to be with his mom. But that bubble has burst for him, so it seems. Now…I don’t know. On one hand there goes my easy, relaxing Christmas. On the other hand that still small voice inside my heart screams louder than I ever knew was possible.
Pray and wait, I guess. :(