The one in which Ukraine breaks my heart.
I got a message last night from the host program organizer letting me know there was bad news about K. She apologized for messaging me on Facebook instead of calling, but she wanted to let me know right away and wasn’t sure if I’d still be up due to the East/West coast time difference.
Apparently when they went to get K’s visa there were some issues with her status. She should have been available for adoption and free to leave the country for hosting, but she isn’t. This was a huge surprise to everyone involved.
The Ukrainian facilitator found that several years ago someone in the adoption ministry made a small error on her paperwork. Essentially someone checked the wrong box. This entire time K’s file hasn’t been shown to potential adoptive families because she’s been mistakenly marked as unadoptable. If we hadn’t have tried to host her, then she could have mistakenly been marked unadoptable forever.
What this means is she can’t come to stay with us this summer. The Ukrainian facilitator said that it would take at least a couple of months for her status to be changed through the proper government channels, it was out of her control.
As if that isn’t enough, once her status is changed she has to wait the one year required by Ukrainian law before she is available for international adoption.
The only good thing is that if her status gets changed and nothing else unexpected comes up we can probably host her over Christmas break.
I feel like I am emotionally spent. Tyler surprisingly is the most heartbroken. He was very much looking forward to meeting K, and he accidentally revealed his interests in adoption. ;)
Since K can’t come we had two choices.
1) Get back a refund of as much money as possible–about $800 has already been spent on other fees for the program, so we probably wouldn’t be able to get that back. Plus the fact that a large portion of our funding was a grant sent directly to the host program makes it a little more dicey.
2) Use the funds to host another child. There was only one little girl left who wasn’t chosen. She will turn 8 years old while she’s here. This is her bio:
“She is very smart, loving, creative and sweet. She loves to color go bowling and loves the park. She will try all new foods and most of the time she likes everything. When previously hosted, she picked up on English quickly and can already sing songs in English. She is very curious and quite mischievous but all in all she is sweet and loving and has huge potential to blossom with a loving family. She may do best with a family that has no other children or children older as she is still learning how to be gentle with younger children.”
The last part really concerned me. At first Tyler said no simply because he didn’t want to host any other child except for K. Heartbreak city.
Then we had to tell Rosie that K wasn’t able to come and she started crying and begging us to see if we could host another little girl instead. So we’re hopefully going to host T instead.
They’ve assured me that she gets along fine with the younger children at her orphanage. We’ll see. I’m less nervous about it than I was earlier. But I have no warm fuzzy feelings for her. (At least not yet.) Nothing like I feel about K. I don’t know why. For some reason we are all inexplicably attached to K.
Regardless, we’ll have fun with T this summer and see where things go from here. T deserves to have a great summer just as much as K did.
On Monday we’ll find out if T was able to get her emergency visa approved to come. They think there shouldn’t be any issues since she was hosted last year and already has her passport and everything in place. If she for some surprising reason doesn’t get approved I’m not sure what we’ll do. Cry again, maybe.
I don’t really know what to think. Everything fell into place so easily for K’s hosting funds and the travel plans up until the error in her paperwork. Why would this happen? How could someone make such a huge error and not realize it for years?
I kind of feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me. Or like someone has knocked all the wind right out of my lungs.
Nothing that has led up to hosting has seemed coincidental. Everything has been just so…I don’t know how to explain it. I’m certain K’s paperwork error is not a coincidence. I just wish I knew what was going to happen. I wish it all made sense. I have no idea why Tyler and I both feel so strongly towards K either. We just…do. How can you be in love with a picture of someone halfway around the world that you’ve never met? I have no answer for that.
A friend I’ve made through the host program is going back to Ukraine with the kids and she’ll be visiting K’s orphanage for several weeks this fall. She’s will probably be able to get pictures and tell me all the info she can about K. Before we found out that she had to wait a year to be adopted Tyler and I were considering forgetting hosting and instead discussed starting the adoption process now…!
It’s only one year. Hopefully her status can be fixed without issue and we can host her and find out more.
In the mean time…
Waiting. More waiting.
Here’s a picture of T. Hopefully she’ll have fun with us this summer in K’s place. Maybe I can advocate for her and help her find a family while she’s here. I guess I can’t rule out the fact that we could fall in love with T too. Never know.