“I will not leave you as orphans…”

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11 Responses

  1. Sarah says:

    Thanks so much for writing this all out. Wow. Wow.

    • Simone says:

      I totally second that wow. I love how difficult the journey was and how the result looks different to what you imagined it would be, but it’s still an amazingly good result. Well done!

  2. Faith says:

    “Past that fear of disappointing the kids, what else could be negative about this? People say they would never be able to do that. They would never want to do that, as if it’s shocking and a little repulsive. Of course it won’t be easy, I’m not completely ignorant. I’m expecting it to be hard in many ways. But would it not be worth it? Why would it not be worth it to change a child’s life by offering them unconditional love, even if it’s only for six weeks?”

    I think you just answered your own question. Hopefully Tanya’s life will be changed and she will find a family she can function in. However, many families do not do this type of adoption/hosting because they do not want to put their own children at risk. I don’t blame them one bit. There are some problems in the world that one person/one family cannot fix and no one should have a sense of guilt or needs to feel guilty as you alluded to in your earlier post. I think most people aren’t so naive to believe that they can “save” these children that have such severe needs or that you will ever get the whole story from the adoption agency. It sure is a roll of the dice when doing something like this, but very inspiring the way it all turned out. Tanya sounds like she will do much better in a home with good structure and more individualized attention.

    • azuroo says:

      I don’t think people should feel guilty, but I still think a lot of reactions people have are perplexing. Of course I would never want to put my kids at risk purposefully. Some of it is just living life. I also put them at risk when we ride horses, or ATV’s, or when I leave them with other people where I think they’ll be safe. I guess I would rather take calculated risks than live in a bubble, know what I mean? I never in a million years considered Tanya would do something like that. She was like a giant puppy, not a sexual predator. I almost didn’t include that part in this story because I know everyone on the internet just *loves* to pick out anything they can to use judgmentally, but I’m always honest in my blog so I went ahead and included it even if it does make me somewhat more vulnerable.

      I still think hosting is a wonderful thing for a family to do if it’s something they are interested in. Obviously not everyone has the same passions, which is why the world is a wonderful and diverse place…

      • Faith says:

        You are exactly right about everyone having their own passions and making their own choices. However, you must admit that your previous post came off as a little judgmental. Take this excerpt for example:

        “I think people feel very defensive when it comes to the subject of orphans. Do you think people feel guilty? I have a hunch maybe some people do. They don’t want to hear about, they don’t want to know about it. It’s weird to me, I don’t understand this reaction. I have learned that everyone is different. For some reason I come hardwired with a soft heart.”

        You made it sound like people who would not consider hosting were not compassionate people and didn’t want to talk about it because they felt some type of guilt. Or that people who wouldn’t make the choices you made didn’t have soft hearts. But as someone who has worked in international adoptions, and has seen these type of situations evolve over the course of 4-5 years, I just wanted you to be aware that there are plenty of people out there that choose not to do this type of thing because of the risks involved. It is not because they do not have a soft heart or don’t have enough compassion to do it. It is because of the situation that you and your own family just went through. I was not implying that you put your children at risk. I’m sure you were very cautious about the whole thing and supervised your children accordingly. I’m just saying that there are indeed very serious risks involved in some of these situations. I don’t think either of us is naive enough to dispute that. And for the record, I would not let children ride ATV’s. Do you know how many closed head injuries arise out of the ATV accidents in a year? Also, I’m not just some judgmental person trolling on the internet. I have been following your blog for some time and personally emailed you for advice. There are lots of opinions regarding what you write about that I keep to myself. I just want to point out that sometimes people make choices based upon experience and knowledge. It is kinda hypocritical that you want to make out people who don’t have the same views as you to be “defensive” or guilt-ridden or to have a hard heart.

        • azuroo says:

          It’s a personal blog of with my stream of thoughts, you’re welcome to interpret it as judgmental if you’d like I guess. I’m not writing newspaper articles as some kind of expert on various topics, I am just thinking about things that have happened to me on one particular day and writing them down. It really, really annoys me when you quote and analyze streams of thought that I’ve posted. I’m aware this is unfortunately one of the downsides of blogging publicly. I don’t feel like I can ignore your comments, but at the same time…? I don’t feel like defending a personal thought or feeling I had about something as trivial as wondering why so many people seemed shocked by the subject of hosting/adoption. Maybe it’s because they don’t want to put their families at risk, that’s fine. My neighbor prefers to rescue dogs instead, lol. I have so many things going on in my life I haven’t even given the stuff I wrote about here a second thought. Clearly you’ve been thinking about it quite a bit more than I ever have.

          My kids have never ridden an ATV? We do have a power wheels thing without a battery that someone gave us. It’s a four wheeler style. It’s pretty safe, if it ever had a battery it goes like 3 miles an hour. I haven’t looked back at this entry, maybe that’s what you’re thinking of. I think I posted pictures of it once recently. My kids take turns pushing each other on it. I’m not sure what this has to do with anything. I’m going to stop wasting energy replying to this now.

  3. Jules says:

    Hey, it’s TLE from OD, slight change in blog and name :) This is my new blog now– switched to wordpress.

    This is such an amazing story. I’ve been thinking about it all day since I read it on my phone this morning, and I just explained it all to my husband. You guys are incredible.

    The concept of “here I am, L-rd!” is “Hineini” in Hebrew :) That’s how I know of it. It’s beautiful, to put yourself out there for service like that. I hope to someday do what you do.

    • azuroo says:

      I have your new blog open on my safari on the iPad and I keep forgetting to add it to my google reader! I hope WordPress lets me leave you comments. They are under the azuroo screen name I think, when the other blog let them save…

  4. Michelle says:

    I’ve been reading your blog for several years now, but have only commented a few times. I have to say… Thank you. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for your honesty. And what a crazy whirlwind of faith and chance! From the outside, looking in, it seems like such an amazing thing that god, or the universe, or whatever, chose your family as an integral part of a very complex puzzle. I hope when you look back on your experience later that you are able to see this as a positive thing. I also hope that you are processing things well, and being gentle to yourself. It sounds as though being a puzzle piece can be intense!

    No matter what we do as mothers, there will always be those who wish to correct us. Remember that all mothers share one common thread — we are all imperfect.

    Hold your head up high, and keep living (and writing) your truth. For many moms, your words bring strength and encouragement, even if you are not always saying the “right” thing.

    Thanks again :)

  5. grace says:

    what a horrible nightmare! from the looks of it tanya had full blown RAD and possibly fas/fae, along with many other psychological disorders. agreed, she was acting so horribly/crazy/out of control because she was so neglected/abused, and while it is sad for her and her siblings it’s not your fault in any way, and it is your job to protect your kids. it’s like the movie orphan (2009) i swear that movie should have been based on a 9 year old russian orphan girl with severe RAD that had been neglected/abused, the horrifying behavior mirrors itself. im really afraid to host now though, im so sorry you had to worst experience of everyone else, that would such a lot. do you know how many other families had bad experiences? is it like a 50/50 thing? if you can share andy idea along those lines that would be greatly appreciated. thank you so much! you are a saint for dealing with her for so long anyhow.

    • azuroo says:

      Don’t be afraid to host! Almost everyone I know has had wonderful experiences. A bad experience is rare. We had a great experience the second time.

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