half heard in the stillness-- between two waves of the sea.

A little about everything. (8 weeks) 1

A little about everything. (8 weeks)

Suddenly it’s fall here. Leaves falling, a crisp feel to the days even when the sun is warm, walnuts on the ground, chickens beginning to molt. Fall at the cabin has a magical feel to it.  It does not leave me disappointed.  I love walking into the woods each day.  There’s always something new–new smells, different bugs, flowers in bloom that weren’t there the day before. I’ve been so busy spending time outside, and surprisingly meeting new people.  New friends.  And...

Signs of Fall. 0

Signs of Fall.

Oh this boy! Love him so much. He’s definitely not an easy going baby.  I’m pretty sure he cries more than Rosie and Ada ever did! There’s very little time that he’s actually content.  He’s almost always crying, flailing his arms and legs, tensed up, or in some kind of frantic mode.  He’s got an extremely high suck need too, he wants to nurse 24/7…except when he’s just crying. I even tried a pacifier! He liked it for a few hours...

4 weeks & 2 days. 0

4 weeks & 2 days.

These coyotes! Last night once I finally got to sleep, after multiple children waking up, the coyotes decided it would be a great time to yip, yowl, and howl for an hour right behind my cabin. That made my dogs bark inside, along with the neighbor’s livestock dog which is 100+ pounds and has a very echoey booming bark. We have this tiny hunting flashlight that lights up about five acres of pitch black darkness out here.  It highlights the glowing...

Three weeks & 1 day. 0

Three weeks & 1 day.

Henry spends so much time asleep! I have so many things to do and here he is sound asleep on me, again.  I know this stage will go by quickly, so I’d better soak up all this newborn goodness while I can. Tyler dumped the entire contents of our storage unit in the cabin on Sunday.  I spent yesterday alternating between screaming baby and sorting out this stuff.  It’s hard to find somewhere for it to go when your cabin has...

Two Weeks & Three Days. 5

Two Weeks & Three Days.

Today was kind of a stressful day.  Apparently I cannot make a relaxed, chill baby. I guess there’s always hope for a fourth baby to be an “easy” one?  Haha! I can do everything while holding the baby except for cook.  And I am hungry.  Really hungry.  Thus, frustration. (Well I don’t hold him while I use the bathroom either, but that only takes a minute.  Cooking takes a bit more time.) Rosie loves holding him, but he screams unless he...

The Story of How Henry Arrived. 3

The Story of How Henry Arrived.

People keep asking me about the story of Henry’s birth. All I can tell you is that it was nothing like Ada’s birth. Henry was like a freight train barreling through my body on his way to entering the world. It hurt.  A lot.  There was so much sheer power and force.  It was unreal. I’m not sure I’ve processed the whole experience just yet. Henry was four or five days overdue, depending on which due date you chose to go...

In a flash– 9

In a flash–

Her fate seizes her and brings her down. She is heavy with it. It wrings her. The great weight is heaved out of her. It eases. She moves into what she has become, sure in her fate now as a fish free in the current. She turns to the calf who has broken out of the womb’s water and its veil. He breathes. She licks his wet hair. He gathers his legs under him and rises. He stands, and his legs...

The Peace of the Wild Things. 6

The Peace of the Wild Things.

40 weeks, 1 day. I feel like we’re in limbo just waiting for him to show up at some unknown hour. Other than the anticipation of his arrival, I’m actually feeling much better than I have this entire pregnancy.  I still feel nauseated, but I have energy!  I feel happy.  Not like a lethargic, miserable lump.  Well at least not most of the time. I still have my moments. Tonight I went for a hike through the hills behind the cabin...

Rosie’s Birthday! 0

Rosie’s Birthday!

I had my midwife appointment today.  Baby H is all happy and snug down in there. Rosie and Ada were so active in the womb–both of them kicked, flip flopped around, jabbed me, poked me, and even did something that felt like clawing me to pieces.  Baby H doesn’t do any of that.  He just wiggles and pokes his butt up. I imagine he thinks my womb is his man cave.  I’m certain he’s in there chilling out.  He stretches and...