half heard in the stillness-- between two waves of the sea.

I think I poked the baby in the head. 5

I think I poked the baby in the head.

I’m having a mini-crisis. I think…my baby might be…REAL. As in, there is a real live baby in there. I can feel her moving all the time, but that’s so abstract. I still can’t convince myself she’s going to be a real child, like Rosie. Except today I think I might have poked her head. Like, I have a real baby who has a real bowling ball of a head jammed into my crotch. And I touched her head. In my...

Frosty Treasures. 0

Frosty Treasures.

The weather man says it will snow tonight. So far, it’s raining. Nasty, cold, drizzling rain. Rosie is beside herself with excitement over snow coming. She desperately wants to make a snow angel and a snowman. I hope it actually does snow overnight, enough to for her to make a snowman for the first time! It seems like snow here is hit or miss. We either get a lot of snow or none at all. Rosie is also extremely excited about...

Frosty Treasures Recipe (aka Puppy Chow…) 0

Frosty Treasures Recipe (aka Puppy Chow…)

Unhealthy, delicious recipe of the day: FROSTY TREASURES 1 pkg. (6 oz.) semi-sweet chocolate morsels 1/4 c. vegetable oil 1/4 c. creamy peanut butter 6 c. Kellogg’s Crispix cereal 2 c. confectioners’ sugar 1. In small bowl, combine chocolate morsels and oil. Microwave on HIGH 1 1/2 minutes or until chocolate melts. Stir in peanut butter. Pour mixture over Kellogg’s Crispix cereal.2. Place confectioners’ sugar into gallon-size storage bag. Add coated cereal and close bag tightly. Shake bag gently until cereal...

Simple, Delicious Berry Muffins. 0

Simple, Delicious Berry Muffins.

These muffins are light and fluffy and delicious. They aren’t even very sweet, they’re just right. I’ve discovered the secret to making muffins is to not over mix them. You can’t use the electric mixer, just use a fork. Not a spoon, a fork. They take less than 10 minutes to mix up! Here is the recipe: Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Mix together the following: 2 cups of flour 3/4 cup of sugar 1/2 teaspoon salt 3 teaspoons baking...

Bread. 0

Bread.

One of Rosie’s favorite frequent activities is to bake bread with me. Lately we’ve been making the bread from the Artisan Bread in 5 Minutes a Day cookbook. It’s so simple and delicious! It’s so easy, actually, that I am thinking of just getting rid of my bread machine. Absolutely all you have to do to make bread that looks exactly like what is on the cover of the book is to mix yeast, salt, and hot water for a second,...

Am I still Living!? 0

Am I still Living!?

Physically, this has got to be the most horrifying and miserable thing that has EVER happened to me. Something isn’t right. I had actual contractions, and they were extremely painful. Considerably more so than when I had Rosie. There was so much blood, I really thought I was going to die last night. I’m talking puddles and puddles of blood, flooding everything. The contractions started around 10 last night, getting increasingly more painful. By 3 in the morning each contraction came...

Saying Goodbye to Baby J. 0

Saying Goodbye to Baby J.

It didn’t come as a total shock, because I knew something wasn’t quite right. I just *knew*. I don’t know why or how, but I wrote before about how I felt totally unattached from this pregnancy, I couldn’t imagine it resulting in a baby in July. But of course no pregnant woman wants to think about that, so aside from stressing over it a little I tried to put it out of my head. My belly seemed to be still growing,...

Finally, to take a step without feet. 0

Finally, to take a step without feet.

“This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet.” -Rumi I keep re-reading this quote, over and over. This quote perfectly describes what the conception of this baby and this pregnancy is for me. It came out of so much sadness and heartbreak, after being pregnant for 12 weeks then suddenly no longer pregnant. After trying desperately to fill...