Tagged: anxiety

coonhound in the suburbs 0

February: The Annual Worst Month Ever

Many nights I spend what feels like the entire night trapped in twisted dreams about my house falling apart, having to move unexpectedly, desperately trying to pack while it’s cold or wet in the house, not having enough money, mean landlords showing up, and feeling unsure where we will live. I have so many of those nightmares I’m afraid to go to sleep sometimes. It’s February. In February 2014 the heat stopped working in the cabin, everything including the toilet bowl...

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I need more Zantac.

I have what I shall refer to as Anxiety Stomach. This is some sort of hereditary torture during which my stomach feels like it’s full of acid, and I may barf acid out of my nose if I move to swiftly. (It’s similar to morning sickness actually.) My dad gets the same thing, upset stomach from stress. My kitchen. I don’t know why it’s stressing me out so much. I mean it’s not the end of the world, but I can’t...

Zoloft. 0

Zoloft.

I’ve been meaning to write about Zoloft, but I haven’t yet had a chance. Today Henry is extra needy. Those pesky two bottom teeth are oh-so-close to breaking through. He really wants to snuggle, nurse, and nap glued to me…but only in bed, not in our Tula carrier or on the couch. He’s particular, this boy. So I have an extra moment while laying in bed snuggling him, while watching the snow fall outside in my big gorgeous field. I’m choosing...

Germs, Anxiety, Abandoning The Cabin. 0

Germs, Anxiety, Abandoning The Cabin.

I am struggling with anxiety once again.   This time I’m finally going to try medication. I’m not sure what yet. Before they gave me a prescription for Zoloft, but I never picked it up from the pharmacy. Chickened out! I’m scared of the side effects. I have a doctor’s appointment on Thursday evening.   It’s just too much–being alone with the kids all the time and no break. I have this constant feeling of stress and impending doom. Anxious. I...

Flatline. 8

Flatline.

I’ve really been struggling with anxiety lately. I think Ada has broken me.  Worn me down until there is just nothing sane left. The problem is that she doesn’t sleep.  She tosses and turns and cries and wants to nurse ALL NIGHT LONG.  Every single night.  Not just a couple of bad nights, but every night. It’s beyond normal baby things.  It’s not due to nursing, or co-sleeping.  People love to blame it on those.  Rosie nursed and co-slept and had no...

1/1/2012 3

1/1/2012

New Year’s Day: 55 and sunny outside…! The girls went outside to play in the new house they got for Christmas. This picture is like Ada all summed up in one snapshot.  Crooked grin, hammer swinging, chipped front tooth, pure happy. It was extremely windy out.  Cooler air on the way! Big blue eyes!  (Ignore the muddy dog prints. I give up during winter.) They look so happy, don’t they? I’m afraid I’m not being a very good mother to them right...